Should – who says?

Since I started my life coaching training I’ve become very sensitive to the word ‘should’ and love to replace it with ‘could’.

Recently I’ve noticed that every time someone in the coaching room says ‘should’ my first question is “who says?”  It’s far better than asking someone to do the ‘should/could swap’ as it really makes you stop and think.  It’s direct and challenging and that is why it works so well.

You see should implies that you have been instructed or told to do something or that it is the ‘right thing to do’ but in our adult lives we need to stop and question that.  Is it you who thinks you should take a certain course of action or is it an old message from a teacher, a parent, a friend or family member? Most importantly – are they right?

Should implies a judgement and we often use it in places where judgement really isn’t very helpful.

With this in mind I encourage you to ditch the should’s and embrace the could’s or the want to’s whenever you take time out to plan ahead.  Yes it can be useful to look at what and how others have achieved, but what is really important is what and how you will!